Hilo de Chistes / Joke Thread

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

@Perikles: Decididamente, no puede estar tan mal.

@Pablo:

Some short ones, inspired by Pablo's "gallegos":

- ¿Por qué los "gallegos" siembran ajos a los lados de las calles?
- Porque se enteraron de que el ajo es bueno para la circulación.

- ¿Por qué los "gallegos" construyen iglesias con puertas de varios metros?
- Para que entre el altísimo.

- ¿Cuántos "gallegos" se necesitan para hundir un submarino?
- Dos: uno que toque y el otro que abra.

- ¿Cómo sabes que un "gallego" usó tu computadora (ordenador)?
- Encuentras la pantalla llena de Liquid Paper (corrector líquido).

- ¿Cómo envía un "gallego" un fax confidencial?
- Doblado.

- ¿Por qué todos los perros "gallegos" tienen el hocico aplastado?
- Porque persiguen coches estacionados (parqueados).

- ¿Cómo identificas a un pianista "gallego"?
- Es el único que jala el piano hacia el banquito.

[CrOtALiTo]

Hahahaha.

Your jokes were very funny.

Always are the Spain people in the jokes like to the Mexican people too.

[vita32]

Originally Posted by AngelicaDeAlquezar

@Perikles: Decididamente, no puede estar tan mal.

@Pablo:

Some short ones, inspired by Pablo's "gallegos":

- ¿Por qué los "gallegos" siembran ajos a los lados de las calles?
- Porque se enteraron de que el ajo es bueno para la circulación.

- ¿Por qué los "gallegos" construyen iglesias con puertas de varios metros?
- Para que entre el altísimo.

- ¿Cuántos "gallegos" se necesitan para hundir un submarino?
- Dos: uno que toque y el otro que abra.

- ¿Cómo sabes que un "gallego" usó tu computadora (ordenador)?
- Encuentras la pantalla llena de Liquid Paper (corrector líquido).

- ¿Cómo envía un "gallego" un fax confidencial?
- Doblado.

- ¿Por qué todos los perros "gallegos" tienen el hocico aplastado?
- Porque persiguen coches estacionados (parqueados).

- ¿Cómo identificas a un pianista "gallego"?
- Es el único que jala el piano hacia el banquito.

Originally Posted by CrOtALiTo

Hahahaha.

Your jokes were very funny.

Always are the Spain people in the jokes like to the Mexican people too.

The jokes led me to google Galicia, Spain. This is an interesting unique part of Spain according to some articles that I've found. Is there much truth in what this article says about Galicia, Spain?

http://www.galiciaguide.com/culture-index.html

[pjt33]

Originally Posted by vita32

The jokes led me to google Galicia, Spain. This is an interesting unique part of Spain according to some articles that I've found. Is there much truth in what this article says about Galicia, Spain?

http://www.galiciaguide.com/culture-index.html

404 Not Found?

[vita32]

Originally Posted by pjt33

404 Not Found?

I do not understand why it's not found. I checked to make sure that I typed the link correctly.

http://galiciaguide.com/

I give up. It just won't work. Anyway I googled "galicia" and clicked on galiciaguide(dot)com.

[pjt33]

Es que importan las mayúsculas: http://www.galiciaguide.com/Culture-index.html

Lo que dice de que Franco no era amigo de Galicia no concuerda con lo que he leído antes, pero igual es cuestión de perspectiva.

[irmamar]

Frando didn't do many things for Galicia when he was alive. The richer regions preserved their richness, while the poor ones persisted with the same poverty.

I've found a mistake in the main page, where it is said that Galicia covers the provinces and cities () of Santiago de Compostela, La Coruña, Pontevedra, Lugo and Orense. The provinces are: La Coruña (A Coruña/Coruña), Lugo, Orense (Ourense) and Pontevedra. Santiago is a city that belongs to La Coruña. Orense or Ourense is the only province without sea.

Very beautiful, Galicia, by the way.

[JPablo]

Mmmmmh?
Is this a joke?
Francisco Franco Bahamonde was (of all things) Galician! (He was born in Galicia, my friends.) (En El Ferrol, para más inri... so we have some alliteration with the Spanish "rr".)

In the last days of his life, there were tons of jokes about him... although these were kept "secret".

He once got a gift... (I switch to Spanish...)

Le regalaron una taza de WC que cuando levantabas la tapa tocaba el himno nacional... Cuando le preguntaron qué le parecía el nuevo regalo... dijo que le parecía muy patriótico... pero que no era práctico, porque cada vez que iba a usarlo se tenía que poner "¡firmes!".

(Sin ningún ánimo de ofender a nadie...)

[vita32]

Originally Posted by pjt33

Es que importan las mayúsculas: http://www.galiciaguide.com/Culture-index.html

Lo que dice de que Franco no era amigo de Galicia no concuerda con lo que he leído antes, pero igual es cuestión de perspectiva.

Originally Posted by irmamar

Frando didn't do many things for Galicia when he was alive. The richer regions preserved their richness, while the poor ones persisted with the same poverty.

I've found a mistake in the main page, where it is said that Galicia covers the provinces and cities () of Santiago de Compostela, La Coruña, Pontevedra, Lugo and Orense. The provinces are: La Coruña (A Coruña/Coruña), Lugo, Orense (Ourense) and Pontevedra. Santiago is a city that belongs to La Coruña. Orense or Ourense is the only province without sea.

Very beautiful, Galicia, by the way.

Originally Posted by JPablo

Mmmmmh?
Is this a joke?
Francisco Franco Bahamonde was (of all things) Galician! (He was born in Galicia, my friends.) (En El Ferrol, para más inri... so we have some alliteration with the Spanish "rr".)

In the last days of his life, there were tons of jokes about him... although these were kept "secret".

He once got a gift... (I switch to Spanish...)

Le regalaron una taza de WC que cuando levantabas la tapa tocaba el himno nacional... Cuando le preguntaron qué le parecía el nuevo regalo... dijo que le parecía muy patriótico... pero que no era práctico, porque cada vez que iba a usarlo se tenía que poner "¡firmes!".

(Sin ningún ánimo de ofender a nadie...)

@pjt33, thanks for pointing my error.
@Irmamar, thanks for your info.
@jPablo, thanks for your input.

It seems that Franco was a controversial leader and hence some jokes were made about him and Galicia is different from the rest of Spain and the jokes only showcased its uniquenes.

[irmamar]

Franco was Galician, everybody knows it in Spain, but he never favoured his own region. Even when he went with his wife to Galicia, the jeweller were very worried and they lost a lot of money with their supposed presents for her. Furthermore, he didn't do anything for the language spoken in his region, but forbid it (although not in the same extent as with Catalonian or Basque because there were many people who didn't speak Spanish -and there still are-).

I think jokes about Gallician are more common in Latin America. Here we have jokes from Lepe and from Basque country (Basque are known by their strength):

- Patxi, ¿qué hace tu moto en el barranco?
- Pues que la estoy arrancando.
- Pero si se arranca con una patada.
- ¿Y qué te crees que he hecho, pues?

[vita32]

There is a town in my native region (Bicol) that is named "Del Gallego" I don't know if the town was started by someone from Galicia, or that it is named so because it resembles Galicia. It is a small coastal town.

[irmamar]

Many people from Galicia emigrated because it was a very poor region (although with a great potential ) with a very difficult geography, which didn't help to leave the poverty (many small villages -aldeas- isolated). I think some of them went to Philippines.

[poli]

La gran parte de la comunidad española en la area metropolitana de Nueva
York es gallega.

[chileno]

WHY I AM DEPRESSED

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel , "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."

Nearly 75 years ago (when Welfare was introduced) William Lyon Mackenzie King said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."

Now the government has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels, and mortgaged the Promised Land! I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, food quality, Social Security, retirement funds, HST, eco tax, enviro tax, Hydro one increases, smart meters, delivery charges, etc. . . I called Lifeline. Got a freakin' call centre in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

[chileno]

[JPablo]

Muy buenas (ambas entradas). A pesar del uso desmesurado... "inordinate usage of the f... word..." El hombre tiene destrezas lingüísticas...

Volví a este thread porque me acordé de cuando Mao fue a visitar a Castro, (lo incluyo aquí sin ninguna intención política por mi parte, ojo.)

El caso es que Mao quería impresionar a Castro, aunque no supiera español, se aprendió esta frase, y la repitió miles de veces antes de reunirse con él, para decirla a la perfección.

Mao ama a Castro, Castro ama a Mao.
Mao ama a Castro, Castro ama a Mao.
Mao ama a Castro, Castro ama a Mao. (Una y otra vez)

Y ya por fin, llegó el momento oportuno de decírselo... y se lo dijo:
Mao: Mao ama a Castro, Castro ama a Mao.

A lo que Castro respondió,
Castro: (Pronúnciese con acento cubanito)
Pero cómo no voy a mamáh si soy cubano...

[chileno]

[JPablo]

Otro de gallegos... (aunque es mejor hacerlo con los gestos, ahí lo tienen)
Estando delante de la puerta del ascensor, un gallego le dice a otro:

-Oye, llama al ascensor.
El otro lo hace:
-¡AAASCEEENNSOOOOOOR!
-¡No, hombre, por el botón!
-Ah (cogiédose un botón de la camisa como si fuera un micrófono) ¡AAASCEEENNSOOOOOOR!

[chileno]

Típico.

[CrOtALiTo]

Originally Posted by chileno

Nice the video, that kid has a lot of practice speaking English and his accent is very marked and highlighted.

Sincerely yours.