Hilo de Chistes / Joke Thread

[irmamar]

Originally Posted by vita32

Sobre las 11:00 de la mañana, la madre anunció a los niños que iban a comer "perritos calientes " para el almuerzo. Todos los niños estaban alegres salvo el más pequeño. Salió y liberó a sus perros. "¡VETE!"- gritó el niño.-"¡VETE, antes de que mi madre te mate!"

At 11:00 am, the mother announced to her young children that they were going to have hot dogs for lunch. All the children were happy except the youngest. He went outside and turned their (pet) dogs loose. "Go away!!!" He yelled, " go away,before mama kills you!!!"

NOTE:
What I find funny is the literal meaning of "hot dogs" which can be confusing even to very young children who are just learning their parents' language.

Corregidme por favor

- Señor, que mi gato ha matado a su perro.
- No puede ser. Si mi perro es un rottweiler.
- Ya, pero es que mi gato es un gato hidráulico (jack?)

No translation possible.

[pjt33]

Originally Posted by irmamar

Not exactly. The question is that all men do what their wifes order, and he was ordered to wait in front of the second door. So, he should be in the first, although as he was ordered to wait in the second, there he was. He was obedient.

It's a variant on the liar paradox.

[vita32]

Originally Posted by irmamar

- Señor, que mi gato ha matado a su perro.
- No puede ser. Si mi perro es un rottweiler.
- Ya, pero es que mi gato es un gato hidráulico (jack?)

No translation possible.

Gracias por sus correciones de mis erores.

Sobre de sus chistes, ¿por qué no hay tradución posible?

Voy a tratar de traducir esto en ingles:

-Mr, my cat killed your dog.
-Cannot be, since my dog is a rottweiler.
-but, my cat is a hydraulic cat!
Correct my mistakes, please

Originally Posted by irmamar

Not exactly. The question is that all men do what their wifes order, and he was ordered to wait in front of the second door. So, he should be in the first, although as he was ordered to wait in the second, there he was. He was obedient.

Poor guy!!!

Wifes
wives

[CrOtALiTo]

Originally Posted by irmamar

Vita, I hope you're much better after your "killing".

I'm still waiting Crotalito's answer to his joke (many pages before):

What's the end of the dog?

Crotalito, you didn't explain it.

En la puerta del cielo, sección masculina. Dos puertas con un cartel cada una. En la primera puerta, en el cartel pone:

Entrada reservada para los hombres que siempre hacen lo que dicen las mujeres.

En la segunda puerta:

Entrada reservada para los hombres que nunca hacen lo que dicen sus mujeres.

En la primera puerta (los hombres que siempre obedecen a sus mujeres) hay una cola inmensa; en la segunda puerta no hay nadie esperando. De repente llega un hombre y se coloca en la segunda puerta. Uno de la primera le dice:

- ¡Eh! ¿Ytú qué haces ahí?
- A mí me ha dicho mi mujer que me ponga aquí.

Hello.

Oh yeah. really I didn't remind that joke, because causally that joke was wrote long time before.

And I try to remember what is the answer about that joke, but I don't grasp to remember what is exactly the answer, I'm sorry, I will continue looking the answer and later when I have it, I will answer you.

Yours truly.

[irmamar]

Originally Posted by vita32

Gracias por sus correciones de mis erores.

Sobre de sus chistes, ¿por qué no hay tradución posible?

Voy a tratar de traducir esto en ingles:

-Mr, my cat killed your dog.
-Cannot be, since my dog is a rottweiler.
-but, my cat is a hydraulic cat!
Correct my mistakes, please



Poor guy!!!

Wifes
wives

Thanks for your corrections, I'm a completely absent mind

And well, I don't know if hydraulic cat is correct English This is "un gato hidráulico".

Originally Posted by CrOtALiTo

Hello.

Oh yeah. really I didn't remind that joke, because causally that joke was wrote long time before.

And I try to remember what is the answer about that joke, but I don't grasp to remember what is exactly the answer, I'm sorry, I will continue looking the answer and later when I have it, I will answer you.

Yours truly.

Vaya, me vas a fastidiar el final del chiste, ¿o era el final del perro?

Pjt, you're right.

[Perikles]

Originally Posted by irmamar

And well, I don't know if hydraulic cat is correct English This is "un gato hidráulico".

No it isn't, it is a Jack. A jack is a device for lifting things. It is also the name for a servant of some kind, so perhaps it derives from that. Is it possible that jack and gato are related?

[irmamar]

I wrote 'jack' in brackets (although I wasn't sure). That's why I said that there was no translation possible.

I don't think they are related. English: from "jakke" (a mechanical device); Spanish: from Latin cattus.

First jacks were flat things which arched when they were raised, as a cat would do. So, they are called "gatos".

[CrOtALiTo]

Originally Posted by irmamar

Vaya, me vas a fastidiar el final del chiste, ¿o era el final del perro?

Surely it could be the jokes end!!!

I wonder where could I have left my notebook? when I wrote complete the joke.

[irmamar]

Do you write the jokes?

Years ago I used to meet with a group of friends and we used to tell jokes until we wept with laughter. From those times I still remember a lot of them and, when from time to time we meet again, we ask each other to tell the same old jokes. From those times there is one which make me remember my friends and our jokes :

Había un grupo de amigos que se reunían a contar chistes y siempre contaban los mismos, de tal manera que ya los tenían numerados.

- ¡El 5! - decía uno.
jajajajjaja (todos)

- ¡El 9! - decía otro.
jajajaja (todos)

- ¡El 7! - decía otro.
- Mira que siempre has sido malo contando chistes.

There was a group of friends who used to tell jokes and, as they always used to tell the same jokes, they had numbered them.

- Fifth! - said one.
hahahaha

- Ninth! - said another one.
hahahaha

-Seventh! - said another one.
- You're very badly telling jokes.

(well, more or less).

[CrOtALiTo]

Originally Posted by irmamar

Do you write the jokes?

Years ago I used to meet with a group of friends and we used to tell jokes until we wept with laughter. From those times I still remember a lot of them and, when from time to time we meet again, we ask each other to tell the same old jokes. From those times there is one which make me remember my friends and our jokes :

Había un grupo de amigos que se reunían a contar chistes y siempre contaban los mismos, de tal manera que ya los tenían numerados.

- ¡El 5! - decía uno.
jajajajjaja (todos)

- ¡El 9! - decía otro.
jajajaja (todos)

- ¡El 7! - decía otro.
- Mira que siempre has sido malo contando chistes.

There was a group of friends who used to tell jokes and, as they always used to tell the same jokes, they had numbered them.

- Fifth! - said one.
hahahaha

- Ninth! - said another one.
hahahaha

-Seventh! - said another one.
- You're very badly telling jokes.

(well, more or less).

Hello Manila..

Causally badly I heard that jokes before in the school well in fact when I was taking to the School, now not I go out.

Yes commonly, I wrote a jokes that I have listed before with my friends and casually when I wrote that jokes, in that moment I caught the idea, but later my mind became stuck and myself I didn't know what does it.

In order to answer you something, I decided to left my mouth closed for the moment.

Still not I remember completely the jokes, I'm working in that.

[irmamar]

Originally Posted by CrOtALiTo

Hello Manila..

Causally badly I heard that jokes before in the school well in fact when I was taking to the School, now not I go out.

Yes commonly, I wrote a jokes that I have listed before with my friends and casually when I wrote that jokes, in that moment I caught the idea, but later my mind became stuck and myself I didn't know what does it.

In order to answer you something, I decided to left my mouth closed for the moment.

Still not I remember completely the jokes, I'm working in that.

Who is Manila?

[Apalánter]

Originally Posted by irmamar

Who is Manila?

Hehehehehe...maybe CrOtALitO mean't the capital of the Philippines.

[JPablo]

This reminds me Mohamed Ali saying,
"It's gonna be a thrilla, and a chilla, and a killa, when I get the Gorilla in Manila."

(But I think Crotalito meant "Malila" (Angélica...)

[vita32]

Originally Posted by JPablo

This reminds me Mohamed Ali saying,
"It's gonna be a thrilla, and a chilla, and a killa, when I get the Gorilla in Manila."

(But I think Crotalito meant "Malila" (Angélica...)

What is Malila?

[CrOtALiTo]

Originally Posted by vita32

What is Malila?

You not it is?
I have heard before that the people naming you with that name! right.

[irmamar]

I am Manila.
Vita is Malila.
Angélica is...

Good jokes thread!

Vita, Malila is Angélica. But Crotalito mistook you and me with her.

[vita32]

Originally Posted by CrOtALiTo

You not it is?
I have heard before that the people naming you with that name! right.

Originally Posted by irmamar

I am Manila.
Vita is Malila.
Angélica is...

Good jokes thread!

Vita, Malila is Angélica. But Crotalito mistook you and me with her.

Oh I get it!!!But maybe not!!!Is it me or Angelica who is to be Malila? It's always good to have a spare name!!!Thanks Crotalito

[CrOtALiTo]

Really then aren't you manila?

Then who's manila here in the forums.

I'm sorry for confusing you.

I mistook all the names.

Your truly.

[irmamar]

Don't worry. Study English and don't take care about these things.

[Perikles]

During a recent password audit a blonde was asked, what her password was ?
Huey Duey Luey pluto Mickey Minnie Donald Goofy Canberra

When asked why so long ?
"Well it said it had to be at least 8 characters and 1 Capital"