Formal vs. informal

[JazzHeart]

There is a big grey area with this for me. I know teachers, elders etc. I would use formal and friends and family informal.

Talking on a forum such as this, do I always use informal?
Meeting a new person, do I always use formal or does the depend on their age/position?
When in doubt should I use formal or informal?

Thanks for putting up with me yet again!

[chileno]

I would say you use the informal in the forum, that way it says that we are all friends.

That my opinion, though.

[Rusty]

Here in the forums, we're friends. Always tutearnos (speak to us informally).

When you are greeting a person for the first time, you should use a formal register until you consider that person a friend (and the feeling is mutual). If the stranger is a child, however, it's OK to use an informal register.

[Luna Azul]

Originally Posted by JazzHeart

There is a big grey area with this for me. I know teachers, elders etc. I would use formal and friends and family informal.

Talking on a forum such as this, do I always use informal?
Meeting a new person, do I always use formal or does the depend on their age/position?
When in doubt should I use formal or informal?

Thanks for putting up with me yet again!

I think you got it right. When you meet a new person the way you address him/her totally depends on that person. Follow your instinct.

It's better to be formal with a person that you wouldn't normally be, than be informal with the Bishop, for example.

[Perikles]

Originally Posted by Luna Azul

It's better to be formal with a person that you wouldn't normally be, that be informal with the Bishop, for example.

That's odd, isn't it? If you use 'tu' for the top of the religious pyramid, then you would expect to use it for a bit lower down as well.

Here, in Tenerife, the polite form is restricted to impersonal encounters such as bureaucratic dealings and police, and morons in call centres. A teenager I know says that the informal form is used universally in schools, with all the teachers. The locals in my village are uncertain about my status as some weird foreigner. They are aware that the polite form can be unfriendly and the informal form can be presumptuous, so they often hedge their bets with a ¿cómo estamos? and wait for a cue from me.

[aleCcowaN]

It happens a lot, but the summary is that the more ignorant in the society use only informal ways with everyone because they don't know well formal ways and the can't manage both. No matter I address the grocer and the butcher with "usted" they would use "vos" with me ... and the grocer is 15 years younger than me. The theory is that using "tú" and "vos" means trust and using "usted" means respect: it all boils to what is more important, trust or respect, as if having one of them would imply the lack of the other. My personal policy is telling those who totally out of context address me with "vos" or "tú" what I really think of them ... otherwise, what is trust for?

[Luna Azul]

Originally Posted by Perikles

That's odd, isn't it? If you use 'tu' for the top of the religious pyramid, then you would expect to use it for a bit lower down as well.

Let me clarify, I made a typo in my original sentence which I already corrected: Instead of "that" it's "than".

Does it sound better?

What I want to say is, the default application is when in doubt, use the formal way

[Perikles]

Originally Posted by Luna Azul

Let me clarify, I made a typo in my original sentence which I already corrected: Instead of "that" it's "than".

Does it sound better?

What I want to say is, the default application is when in doubt, use the formal way

Oh, I wasn't challenging your formal language use with a bishop, I was just making an ironical comment about organized religions. I agree with you that when in doubt, formal is better than informal.

[Caballero]

If I understood correctly, he meant that if you address God informally, (at least I assume you do. In English we normally do. When praying most people use thou instead of you), then why wouldn't you address a Bishop, who is lower in hierarchy to God informall.

My personal policy is telling those who totally out of context address me with "vos" or "tú" what I really think of them

What do you mean by that?

It happens a lot, but the summary is that the more ignorant in the society use only informal ways with everyone because they don't know well formal ways and the can't manage both.

So, someone would sound merely lower class if they used vos to you? Are there some lower class people who only use vos with everyone and never usted, or is it only people that are deliberately impolite?

No matter I address the grocer and the butcher with "usted" they would use "vos" with me ... and the grocer is 15 years younger than me.

So does that mean that you hate the butcher and the grocer because of that and are seething with anger on the inside?

[aleCcowaN]

Originally Posted by Caballero

If I understood correctly, he meant that if you address God informally, (at least I assume you do. In English we normally do. When praying most people use thou instead of you), then why wouldn't you address a Bishop, who is lower in hierarchy to God informall.

What do you mean by that?

So, someone would sound merely lower class if they used vos to you? Are there some lower class people who only use vos with everyone and never usted, or is it only people that are deliberately impolite?

So does that mean that you hate the butcher and the grocer because of that and are seething with anger on the inside?

Read it all again, do some reality checks in the way, and if some doubts persist, come back again.