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  #1  
Old March 15, 2012, 12:34 PM
autobús autobús is offline
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Esta noche fría

Ahora cuento un cuento a ti.

En invierno los hijos han estado jugar a fútbol. Su madre es preocupada. Ella no sabe que vuelven a casa. Hace varios grados bajo cero. Hay tormenta.

La madre de los hijos llama a su amiga que es un madre también. Acordan que van y buscan los hijos.

Antes de van ellas se sorprenden que los hijos vuelven a casa.


Can you find any errors?

Last edited by autobús; March 16, 2012 at 01:13 AM.
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  #2  
Old March 17, 2012, 10:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by autobús View Post
Ahora te cuento un cuento (a ti).

En el invierno los hijos han estado jugar a fútbol. (Most would include the article before the season. Instead of saying 'In the wintertime, the children have been playing', which sounds wrong in English, try '... the children were playing'. Since this is story about something happening in the past, you must use the past tense. If you don't know the past tense, then don't place a time on the event by using the perfect tense or adverbial clauses that affix the time in the past.)
Su madre es preocupada. (It would sound a bit better to say 'La madre de ellos', but a later sentence seems to indicate that not all the children belong to just one mother. In that case, add 'some' to the phrase. The verb is wrong. You need to use 'estar', properly conjugated, of course.)
Ella no sabe que vuelven a casa. (My first thought was that you meant to say 'when' instead of using the conjunction 'that'. But then I thought you might be trying to say 'She doesn't realize they are returning home'. This sentence would sound better if it were used later, after introducing the other mother.)
Hace varios grados bajo cero. (You need to use another expression here.)
Hay tormenta.

La madre de los hijos llama a su amiga que es un madre también. (Watch agreement. You may want to add 'of some of the children' to your sentence to make it more clear.)
Acordan que van y buscan los hijos. ('Acordar' is a stem-changing verb in the present tense. The verb 'ir' is always followed by the preposition 'a' and, in this case, an infinitive.)

Antes de van ellas se sorprenden que los hijos vuelven a casa. (The conjugated verb needs to be an infinitive, which acts as a noun - the object of the preposition 'antes de'. The other conjugated verb needs to be in the past perfect tense - 'had returned'.)
I've marked the errors I saw and gave you hints as to why they are in error.
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Old March 17, 2012, 03:53 PM
autobús autobús is offline
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Ahore te cuento un cuento.

En el invierno los hijos jugan a fútbol. La madre de ellos está preocupada. Ella no sabe cuando vuelven a casa. Estamos a varios grados bajo cero. Hay tormenta.

La madre de los hijos llama a su amiga que es un madre tambien. Acuerdan que van a buscar los hijos.

Antes de ir ellas se sorprenden que los hijos han vuelto a casa.



que es un madre tambien = who is a mother also. (generally a mother).

te cuento un cuento = I'm telling you a tale (is it not odd to use so similar words?)

How do I say "They agreed to go and find them"? Acuerdan que van a y buscar los hijos?


Is it now correct?
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  #4  
Old March 17, 2012, 04:52 PM
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There are still some errors, two of them introduced when you re-entered the text.
Quote:
Originally Posted by autobús View Post
Ahore te cuento un cuento.

En el invierno los hijos jugan (stem-changing verb) a fútbol. La madre de ellos está preocupada. Ella no sabe cuando vuelven a casa. Estamos (correct verb, wrong person) a varios grados bajo cero. Hay tormenta.

La madre de los hijos llama a su amiga que es un (agreement problem - madre is feminine) madre tambien. Acuerdan que van a buscar los hijos.

Antes de ir ellas se sorprenden que los hijos han vuelto a casa.


que es un madre tambien = who is a mother also. (generally a mother). (watch agreement - the indefinite article needs to agree in gender and number with the noun)

te cuento un cuento = I'm telling you a tale (is it not odd to use so similar words?) (No, not really. If you want you can use the verb 'decir' instead of 'contar'.)

How do I say "They agreed to go and find them"?
Acuerdan (this is the present tense form, so it can't mean 'they agreed', which is in the past tense - have you studied the past tenses yet?) irse y buscar (you need to leave things in the infinitive to say 'go and find' - note that the pronominal form of 'ir' makes more sense in this case - 'que van a buscar' means 'that they're going to find', describing a future event) los hijos?
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