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Email your sincerely; change of topic etc.

 

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Old August 18, 2014, 08:08 PM
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Email your sincerely; change of topic etc.

Are my sentences correct English?:

-Dear Teacher,

After looking through/viewing/checking out the presentation topics, I find that none of them is suitable for me; can I apply for a change of topic? I would like to present on a literary work/a reading as usual, in which case a student can talk about anything relevant as he wishes. Since the presentation takes up/accounts for only several percent/a small part/a small percentage of the final score, it would not be too much unfair to other students. But if you think it necessary, you can deduct some of the marks for giving me this special permission/privilege. Thank you. I look forward to your favourable reply.

Your sincerely (I don't know whether we can use this in an email)
XF
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  #2  
Old August 19, 2014, 12:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xinfu View Post
Dear Teacher,

After looking over the presentation topics, I find that none of them is suitable for me. May I apply for a change of topic?
I would like to present on a literary work/a reading, as usual, in which case a student can talk about anything relevant as she wishes. Since the presentation accounts for only a small percentage of the final score, it would not be too much unfair to other students. But if you think it necessary, you can deduct some of the marks for giving me this special permission. Thank you. I look forward to your favourable reply.

Yours sincerely,

XF
I've edited your text to make it sound a bit more natural.
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Old August 25, 2014, 02:07 AM
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Thank you~

1. For 'I would like to present on a literary work/a reading', the meaning here should be 'to talk about', rather than putting on a performance; do you think I learned the wrong thing? I thought ON must be there to show the idea of ABOUT.

2. For 'a student can talk about anything relevant as she wishes.', do you not think omitting RELEVANT would float the idea that the student could give himself more rein than he ought to/more freedom than necessary?
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Old August 25, 2014, 02:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Xinfu View Post
Thank you~

1. For 'I would like to present on a literary work/a reading', the meaning here should be 'to talk about', rather than putting on a performance; do you think I learned the wrong thing? I thought ON must be there to show the idea of ABOUT.
You didn't learn it wrong. I misunderstood. Both 'present on' and 'talk about' could be used, although I would go with the latter because it isn't as high a register.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xinfu View Post
2. For 'a student can talk about anything relevant as she wishes.', do you not think omitting RELEVANT would float the idea that the student could give himself more rein than he ought to/more freedom than necessary?
If you want to rein it in, just use 'relevant' without the 'as he wishes' part.
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Old August 26, 2014, 02:03 AM
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Thank you~
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