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Comprueben este título, por favor

 

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  #1
Old April 13, 2013, 11:59 PM
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Comprueben este título, por favor

Hola Hace mucho tiempo que me había introducido. Perdón por mi ausencia después de iniciando aquel "thread". Esto es mi primero de real. Por supuesto, quiero que me corrijan para cualquier error. ¡Indíquenlos!

En fin, tengo alguna tarea. Tengo que escoger una tema en otra clase que estamos estudiando y resumirla en español. Escogí la biología, sobre "aquatic life and marine biology". Aquí lo es...

--Temas acerca de los varios sistemas acuáticos y la vida que los habitan--

El contenido es bueno, como quiero decir "Topics concerning the various aquatic systems and the life that inhabits them". Solicito que comprueben el vocabulario y la gramática.

Lo siento si parece que estoy hablando demasiado, pero siento como necesito practicar más este idioma. En fin, gracias por adelantado.
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  #2
Old April 14, 2013, 06:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hiperbólico View Post
Hola Hace mucho tiempo que me había introducido. Perdón por mi ausencia después de iniciando aquel "thread" (hilo). Esto es mi primero de real. Por supuesto, quiero que me corrijan para cualquier error. ¡Indíquenlos!

En fin, tengo alguna tarea. Tengo que escoger una tema en otra clase que estamos estudiando y resumirla en español. Escogí la biología, sobre "aquatic life and marine biology". Aquí lo es...

--Temas acerca de los varios sistemas acuáticos y la vida que los habitan--

El contenido es bueno, como quiero decir "Topics concerning the various aquatic systems and the life that inhabits them". Solicito que comprueben el vocabulario y la gramática.

Lo siento si parece que estoy hablando demasiado, pero siento como necesito practicar más este idioma. En fin, gracias por adelantado.
I've marked what needs fixed in red, but didn't give any hints about what is wrong. If this is needed, please ask.
There are better ways to say some of the things you wrote, and I didn't know what you were trying to say in one part.
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  #3
Old April 14, 2013, 05:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rusty View Post
I've marked what needs fixed in red, but didn't give any hints about what is wrong. If this is needed, please ask.
There are better ways to say some of the things you wrote, and I didn't know what you were trying to say in one part.
Thanks a lot, Rusty. Here's my attempt at corrections (blue for what I had changed, and red for what I was still unsure of and left alone):

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hiperbólico
Hola. Hace mucho tiempo que me había introducido. Perdón por mi ausencia después de iniciar aquel hilo. Esté es mi primer hilo actual. Por supuesto, quiero que me corrijan por cualquier error. ¡Indíquenlos!

En fin, tengo una tarea. Tengo que escoger un tema de otra clase que estamos estudiando y resumirlo en español. Escogí un tema de la biología, "aquatic life and marine biology". Aquí es...

--Temas acerca de los varios sistemas acuáticos y la vida que los habita--

Quiero decir "Topics concerning the various aquatic systems and the life that inhabits them". Solicito que comprueben el vocabulario y la gramática.

Lo siento si parece que estoy hablando demasiado, pero siento que necesito practicar más este idioma. En fin, gracias por adelantado.
I may have removed a couple of words that seemed unnecessary, and I reworded some of my phrasing in two parts. I'd love to get your feedback.
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  #4
Old April 14, 2013, 05:44 PM
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Better!

The verb introducirse doesn't mean 'introduce oneself'. Use presentarse instead.

actual = today, now
Your original choice real means 'royal'. Both choices, as you can see, are false friends. Use 'de verdad' instead. That means 'real'.

The relative pronoun este is stressed on the first syllable, so needs no accent mark. There was a time when an accent mark was included, but this was only to distinguish the pronoun 'éste' from the determiner 'este', both pronounced exactly the same. What you wrote is the present subjunctive form of 'estar'.

Instead of writing 'En fin, tengo una tarea' and the next sentence, it might be just as good to write 'Como tarea, tengo que escoger ...'. Just my .

I marked 'estamos estudiando' wrong for two reasons. Since you are talking about your homework assignment, which pertains to only you, you should probably not say 'we' in this spot. In other words, don't change subjects. It's another class that you alone are taking. The other reason is because the present continuous tense should probably not be used here. That tense is overused by English speakers (but only because the textbooks don't teach correct principles). Use the present indicative tense instead.
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  #5
Old April 14, 2013, 08:06 PM
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¡Gracias otra vez!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rusty View Post
The verb introducirse doesn't mean 'introduce oneself'. Use presentarse instead.
Okay. Hace mucho tiempo que me había presentado.

Quote:
The relative pronoun este is stressed on the first syllable, so needs no accent mark. There was a time when an accent mark was included, but this was only to distinguish the pronoun 'éste' from the determiner 'este', both pronounced exactly the same.
Yeah, I mistyped the accent over the second vowel instead of the first. I meant to start with "Éste...". But are you saying I no longer have to distinguish in my writing between éste the pronoun and este the adjective?

Quote:
it might be just as good to write 'Como tarea, tengo que escoger ...'. Just my .
Understandable. However, 'como tarea' sounds a bit strange to my ear. I guess it's just Spanish having that different feel to it in regards to how it conveys the message. I still somewhat translate directly from English in my head.

Quote:
The other reason is because the present continuous tense should probably not be used here. That tense is overused by English speakers (but only because the textbooks don't teach correct principles). Use the present indicative tense instead.
Both reasons make sense. Again, I guess I'm translating from English when I try to express myself. So changing it: '...un tema de otra clase que estudiamos...".
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  #6
Old April 14, 2013, 08:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hiperbólico View Post
¡Gracias otra vez! ¡No hay de qué!



Okay. Hace mucho tiempo que me había presentado.

Yeah, I mistyped the accent over the second vowel instead of the first. I meant to start with "Éste...". But are you saying I no longer have to distinguish in my writing between éste the pronoun and este the adjective? (Correct.)

Understandable. However, 'como tarea' sounds a bit strange to my ear. I guess it's just Spanish having that different feel to it in regards to how it conveys the message. I still somewhat translate directly from English in my head. (Yeah, what sounds good in Spanish doesn't always transliterate well to another language.)

Both reasons make sense. Again, I guess I'm translating from English when I try to express myself. So changing it: '...un tema de otra clase que estudiamos...".
'Estudio' instead of 'estudiamos'.
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  #7
Old April 17, 2013, 04:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rusty View Post
'Estudio' instead of 'estudiamos'.
Haha, of course. Thanks a million
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