Proof read ?

[queya]

Hello all!
I have a 225 word assignment that I was hoping someone wouldn't mind proofreading for me?
I would really appreciate it!
-queya
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“¿Cuál pasado a su coche?” El mecánico pedía cuando yo llegé a taller de
mecánica. “Esté es ridículo!”
“Espera hasta mi historia tu oír.” Yo digé. “Yo prometo todo esta cierto.”
“¿Porque yo debo su crees?” El mecánico pedía me otra vez.
“¡Mira mi carro!” Yo digé.
“Bien,” El diges. “Dígame.”
“Yo fui en mi modo a trabajo esta mañana cuando algo loco pasé. Yo fui la autopista I-noventa y cinco que su conocé es una autopista muy muy ocupada. Yo fui tarde ya pero a mi asombro yo vi un autobús mas grande detení los trafíco. Hay muchos reporteros sací unas fotos y entrevisté otro nadie que banda de rock ¡Aerosmith! Aunque yo creo que este aseado mucho yo fui mucho tarde. Yo comiencé base mi bocina y fui pruebé encontrar un modo cerca de el trafíco cuando yo vi Steven Tyler punto enfadado en el mi. Un camion monstruo esta mas grande vengí cerca de el autobús recto para mi coche. Yo no pudé para el camion monstruo fue en mi coche pero mate no me. Yo corrí al Steven Tyler y exigí el mandé esta porque. El digé, ‘nostoros fuimos al escuela secundaria juntos y su robí mi novia y ahora sú estan casado.”
“Yo no creo este verdad!” el mecánico digé.
“Pero tu debes creer es verdad!” Steven Tyler dige busqué fuere mi coche.
----
Thank You!!!

[pjt33]

Originally Posted by queya

“¿Cuál [Which? Try what] ha pasado a su coche?” el mecánico me pedía [regularly? And was he making a request or asking a question?] cuando yo llegué a su taller de
mecánica. “¡Ésto es ridículo!”
“Espera hasta que [insert perfect subjunctive of oír] mi historia tu oír,” Yo le digé dije [although personally I would use a more interesting verb: contestar, perhaps]. “Yo Prometo que todo esta cierto.”
“¿Porque [What's the difference between why and because?] yo debo su creescreerle?” el mecánico me pedía [see above] me otra vez. [¿Otra vez? It's the first time he's asked that question!]
“¡Mira mi carro!” Yole digé dije.
“Bien,” El digesdijo. “Dígame.”
“Yo fui [continuous?] en mi modo [¿moto? What are you trying to say here? On my way? If so, ditch it: I was going to work...] al trabajo esta mañana cuando algo loco ["Something crazy happened"? Don't think it works in translation] pasó. Yo fui [continuous?] por la autopista I-noventa y cinco y ya conoces que su conocé es una autopista muy muy ocupada. Yo fui [continuous?] tarde ya pero a mi asombro yo vi un autobús mas grande deteníque deteníalos el trafíco. Hay [surely not present tense?] muchos reporteros sacísacandounas fotos y entrevisté [you interviewed?] a otro nadie más que la banda de rock ¡Aerosmith!

That's a start, at any rate.

[Rusty]

Hi queya! Welcome to the forums!

I'm sorry to say this, but your assignment contains many errors and is pretty difficult to read. Please don't be offended, but it would serve no purpose if we just corrected everything for you. You wouldn't learn anything in the process.

I want to believe that you've done your very best work on your assignment, but it looks very much like a machine was used for the translation. The result is an extremely poor translation, and we don't have the English version to help us decipher what you wanted to say.

What is your Spanish level? I ask this because we need to tailor our level of help to what you already know.

I tried my best to decipher the translation and create an English version, but couldn't figure it all out.
Please help us by providing the right wording, especially where I've highlighted things I was just guessing at! Thanks!

Here's my attempt:
"What happened to your car?" asked the mechanic when I arrived at the garage. "This is ridiculous!"
"Wait until you hear my story," I said. "I promise it's all true."
"Why should I believe you?" the mechanic asked me again.
"Look at my car!" I said.
"OK," he said. "Tell me."
"I was on my way to work this morning when something crazy happened. I was on I-95, which you know is a very, very busy highway. I was already late, but to my surprise, I saw a big bus holding up traffic. There were many reporters taking pictures and interviewing none other than the rock band Aerosmith.
Although I believe it was pretty well cleaned up, I was very late. I started to honk my horn and was trying to find a way through traffic when I saw Steven Tyler pointing madly in my . This huge monster truck was coming close to the bus straight for my car. I couldn't because the monster truck was in my car, but it didn't kill me. I ran to Steven Tyler and demanded he tell why. He said, "We went to middle school together and you stole my girlfriend and now you're married."
"I don't believe this is true!" said the mechanic.
"But you must believe it's true!" Steven Tyler said, looking outside my car.

[queya]

Sorry this took me so long to get back to you, but THANK YOU SO much for helping me. =]
And by helping I MEAN helping and not just giving me the answers. I really appreciate that.
You basically translated it correctly haha but here are a few missing words...
"What happened to your car?" asked the mechanic when I arrived at the garage. "This is ridiculous!"
"Wait until you hear my story," I said. "I promise it's all true."
"Why should I believe you?" the mechanic asked me again.
"Look at my car!" I said.
"OK," he said. "Tell me."
"I was on my way to work this morning when something crazy happened. I was on I-95, which you know is a very, very busy highway. I was already late, but to my surprise, I saw a big bus holding up traffic. There were many reporters taking pictures and interviewing none other than the rock band Aerosmith.
Although I believe it was pretty cool, I was very late. I started to honk my horn and was trying to find a way through traffic when I saw Steven Tyler pointing madly in my direction. This huge monster truck was coming around the bus straight for my car. I couldn't move because the monster truck was on my car, but it didn't kill me. I ran to Steven Tyler and demanded he tell me why he did that. He said, "We went to middle school together and you stole my girlfriend and now you're married."
"I don't believe this is true!" said the mechanic.
"But you must believe it's true!" Steven Tyler said, getting outside my car.

I've been in Spanish for about 3 1/2 years. But even with practice I have a VERY hard time remembering anything valuable. I can only really remember simple sentences.
I do, however, want to become fluent or semi-fluent, but I feel it's going to take a LOT of time. haha

Thank you for your time! =]
~ queya

[Rusty]

Thanks for providing the English version, queya!

Did you get a chance to look at the hints and corrections that pjt33 made? If so, do you have any questions to ask us? You may want to answer his questions or rewrite a few of your sentences using the hints he gave you.

We stand ready to help!

[queya]

You both are amazing! =]
And I am super embarrassed. haha

I got my composition draft back from my professor and she basically marked it up the same as pjt33 did.

Here's my rough draft again with the revisions based off of what pjt33 and my professor both said.

“¿Qué ha pasado a su coche?” El mecánico me pedía (I don't know what to put here? I have a huge weeknes with verbs; among other things) cuando llegué a su taller de mecánica. “¡Ésto es ridículo!”

“Espera hasta que oiga mi historia.” Le dije. “Prometo que todo es cierto.”
“¿Por que debo su creerle?” El mecánico me pedía. (this is the same as before.)
“¡Mira mi carro!” le dije.
“Bien,” dijo. “Dígame.”
“Yo fui a trabaja esta mañana cuando algo loco pasó. Yo fui por la autopista I-noventa y cinco que es una autopista muy muy ocupada. Yo fui tarde ya pero a mi asombro yo vi un autobús más grande que detenía los trafíco. Hay muchos reporteros sacando unas fotos y entrevisté a nadie más que la banda de rock ¡Aerosmith! Aunque fui mucho tarde. Yo comiencé base mi bocina y fui pruebé encontrar un modo cerca de el trafíco cuando yo vi Steven Tyler punto enfadado en el mi. Un camion monstruo esta mas grande vengí cerca de el autobús recto para mi coche. Yo no pudé para el camion monstruo fue en mi coche pero mate no me. Yo corrí al Steven Tyler y exigí el mandé esta porque. El digé, ‘nostoros fuimos al escuela secundaria juntos y su robí mi novia y ahora sú estan casado.” (here I have a huge problem... Another problem with spanish that I have, and I'm sure it's a pretty common problem, is arranging the sentences. I naturally form them in an English grammatical sense and I don't know how to form them in Spanish.)
“Yo no creo que es verdad!” el mecánico dijo.
“Pero tú debes creer que es verdad!” Steven Tyler dijo buscar fuera mi coche.
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Any changes that weren't made that look like they should've been weren't because my professor didn't make a note of it on my hard copy. I'm assuming this is because she is basing the corrections off of what we've done in class and not in a strict grammatically correct sense.

I can't put into words how thankful I am.
I'm embarrassed to post these mistakes on the web but I do really need the help (obviously) and asking you guys is the best idea.
I really appreciate everything. =)
Sincerely,
queya

[Rusty]

Originally Posted by queya

“¿Qué ha pasado a su coche?” el mecánico me pedía (This is the correct verb, it's just the wrong past tense. That's what pjt33 was hinting at. Was the mechanic repeatedly asking the question, or did he do it habitually? He didn't, so you need to use the preterite tense.) cuando llegué a su taller (de mecánica)(not necessary). “¡Ésto es ridículo!”
“Espera hasta que oiga mi historia”, le dije. “Prometo que todo es cierto.”
“¿Por qué debo su creerlo?” el mecánico me pedía. (Make this match the other occurrence.))
“¡Mira mi carro!” le dije. (Don't mix coche and carro. Use one or the other.)
“Bien,” dijo. “Dígame (su cuento).”
“(Yo) fui a trabaja ("I was going" is an ongoing action happening in the past, so the imperfect tense is used. You should follow the verb with "a trabajar.") esta mañana cuando algo loco pasó.
(Yo) fui (choose another verb, like 'was driving,' and use the imperfect tense. It was an ongoing action in the past. Use the imperfect tense anytime you're 'setting the stage' for another action that happened in the past.) por la autopista I-95, que es una autopista muy muy ocupada.
(Yo) fui (ongoing past action - use the verb for 'walk') tarde ya, pero a mi asombro (yo) vi un autobús más (wrong word) grande que detenía (wrong past tense, the action wasn't ongoing or habitual) los tráfico.
Hay (needs to be in the past tense, setting the stage for some other action in the past) muchos periodistas/reporteros.
(Ellos) sacando (what past tense should be used for 'they were taking'?) unas fotos y entrevisté (what past tense should be used for 'they were interviewing'?) a nadie más que a la banda de rock ¡Aerosmith!
Aunque fui (ongoing past action - use the verb for 'walk') mucho (use the word for 'very') tarde, (yo) comiencé (I started - an action begun in the past, but not necessarily completed, takes the imperfect tense. Neither the preterite nor the imperfect has a stem change (e -> ie)) base[/COLOR] (use the verb for 'honk' - think about whether the action began and ended in the past, or if it was setting the stage for something else that occurred) mi bocina y fui pruebé (what tense should be used for 'I was trying'? Use the verb 'tratar de.') encontrar un modo ('way' needs to be 'una ruta') cerca del tráfico (this doesn't mean 'through traffic' - try translating 'find an escape route') cuando (yo) vi a Steven Tyler punto enfadado en el mi. (none of this makes sense, and we may not have the correct English version)
Un camión-monstruo esta mas grande vengí cerca de el (none of this makes sense) autobús recto para (use the other word for 'for' here) mi coche.
(Yo) no pude (what? - what couldn't you do? - Please make sure we have a good English version.) para el camión-monstruo fue en mi coche pero mate no me.
(Yo) corrí al Steven Tyler y exigí el mandé esta porque. (none of this makes sense)
Él digé, ‘nostoros fuimos al escuela secundaria juntos y su robí a mi novia y ahora sú están casados.”
“Yo no creo que es (this needs to be in the subjunctive mood) verdad!” el mecánico dijo.
“Pero (tú) debes creer que es verdad!” Steven Tyler dijo buscar (choose another verb, and it needs a preceding preposition or conjunction) fuera de mi coche.

There's a lot to look at here. It might be better to examine and ask questions about just a sentence, or two, at a time.

[pjt33]

Originally Posted by Rusty

This is the correct verb, it's just the wrong past tense. That's what pjt33 was hinting at.

No, it's the wrong verb too. It should be preguntar, not pedir.

[Rusty]

Originally Posted by pjt33

No, it's the wrong verb too. It should be preguntar, not pedir.

You're right.

[queya]

Awesome, So I've fixed up most of it and I do have some questions. But first, thank you for your help once again! =]

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(Yo) corría(run) caminaba(walk) (the sentence is “I was running late. Is this translatable into Spanish – to use corría instead of cominaba?) tarde ya,

probaba encontrar una ruta escapar (“I was trying to find a way to escape?” Or should I put una ruta de escapar.)

Steven Tyler apuntó mi.(pointed at me? I tried finding “to point” or “to point at” on the tomisimo dictionary and apuntar is what I found. Also, I conjugated it for the preterit because it is viewed as completed. Would you agree?)

(Yo) no moverse para el camión-monstruo fue en mi coche pero mate no me. (“I couldn’t move because the truck was on my car but it didn’t kill me.” I think this might be too literal of a translation… what do you think?)

exigí él dime apuntó mi por que.(I had trouble with this one. “demanded he tell me why he pointed at me.”)

Steven Tyler dijo (for “getting out of my car” should I use the verb salir in a preterit sense or should I use the word “salida” instead?)fuera de mi coche.

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thats it... The rest is awesome I think. =]

thanks!!
~Queya

[Rusty]

I've time to answer a couple of things.

en mi coche = in my car
encima de mi coche = on (top of) my car

I couldn't move (myself) = no pude moverme

'To demand something of someone' is colloquial English. You wrote the sentence in subjunctive English, so you should be able to use the everyday Spanish structure below without any trouble.
(main clause contains a conjugated verb of volition) + que + (clause in subjunctive mood)
Exigí que él me dijera
I demanded that he tell me

Don't forget to place object pronouns in front of the conjugated verb. (Imperatives and infinitives are the ones that take the suffixed object pronouns.)
Since the main verb is in a past tense, the verb in the secondary clause is conjugated in the imperfect subjunctive.

After tell me (me dijera) comes the word why (por qué).

Señalar is the verb you want to use for pointing something at someone. Provide BOTH the something and the someone. Remember to place the object pronoun before the conjugated verb. Use the preterite tense.