Novel translation

[mangonomme]

It seems to me, mainly because of phonetics (i.e. shorter words), that English lends itself to stream-of-consciousness writing more readily than Spanish. This is my attempt to translate this wordy sentence into Sp. – what do you think? (The omission of ‘volcanic’ and ‘ever-rising’ is intentional as is the numeric change.):

The tears of joy that ran down his face more than compensated for the hundreds of thousands of guilt, sorrow, and volcanic rage at absurd destiny that hadn’t ran down his face during the barren eternity since Belle’s death but instead had seeped drop by echoing drop into the ever-rising black night pool threatening to extinguish the inner light.

Las lágrimas de felicidad que corrieron por sus mejillas fácilmente le compensaron por las millones de angustia, mal conciencia, y enojo que, traídas por su destino descabellado, él no había suelto durante la eternidad árida desde la muerte de Bel, sino habían caídas gota por gota en la charca que siempre amenazaba con extinguir la llama interna.

[chileno]

Originally Posted by mangonomme

It seems to me, mainly because of phonetics (i.e. shorter words), that English lends itself to stream-of-consciousness writing more readily than Spanish. This is my attempt to translate this wordy sentence into Sp. – what do you think? (The omission of ‘volcanic’ and ‘ever-rising’ is intentional as is the numeric change.):

Yes. Sometimes it is necessary, however, in this case nothing wrong with translating it almost word for word.

Originally Posted by mangonomme

The tears of joy that ran down his face more than compensated for the hundreds of thousands of guilt, sorrow, and volcanic rage at absurd destiny that hadn’t ran down his face during the barren eternity since Belle’s death but instead had seeped drop by echoing drop into the ever-rising black night pool threatening to extinguish the inner light.

Las lágrimas de felicidad que corrieron por sus mejillas fácilmente le compensaron por las millones de angustia, mal conciencia, y enojo que, traídas por su destino descabellado, él no había suelto durante la eternidad árida desde la muerte de Bel, sino habían caídas gota por gota en la charca que siempre amenazaba con extinguir la llama interna.

An excelent interpretation instead of a translation, in my opinion.

A question: "...thousands of guilt,"? or "...thousands of feelings of guilt"?