Metaphors for 'stupid'

[Perikles]

English has some nice metaphors/euphemisms if you want to explain that someone is seriously deficient in brain cells:

He is two sandwiches short of a picnic
He is not the sharpest pencil in the box
He is tuppence short of a shilling.
He is not playing with a full deck

German also has: Er hat nicht alle Tassen im Schrank

Are there any Spanish equivalents?

Thanks

[aleCcowaN]

Me vienen a la mente las típicas y nada amables:

(No) Tiene (ni) dos dedos de frente.
Tiene tres neuronas.
No puede caminar y mascar chicle al mismo tiempo.
Le falta un Einstein para ser Einstein. (o "Le falta un Einstein para llegar a Lassie" )
Está dado ... del todo. ("es tadado ...")

o las más moderadas:

No es muy despierto(,) que digamos.
No le pidas que piense.

Las imágenes en las que falta alto para completar un todo están más relacionadas con la salud mental, al menos en mis lares:

Le faltan caramelos al frasco.
Le faltan (un par de) jugadores (al equipo).

[Perikles]

Thanks

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

Some of those often heard in Mexico:

No le sube el agua al tinaco.
No le gira (bien) la piedra.
¿Sabes por qué su cerebro mide dos centímetros? Porque se le hinchó.
Le faltó oxigenación al nacer.
Así, muy listo, no es.
Tiene la cabeza hueca.
Le falta materia gris.
...

[chileno]

Corto de frente.

[pinosilano]

Originally Posted by AngelicaDeAlquezar

¿Sabes por qué su cerebro mide dos centímetros? Porque se le hinchó.
...

[aleCcowaN]

Me había olvidado ese de "le faltó oxígeno durante el parto".

El día que asignaban cerebros, llegó tarde.

La luz de su intelecto ilumina .... (add accordingly: la luz de stand-by del televisor; el dispersador de aromas; el piloto del repelente de mosquitos; etc)

Parece/Cuentan que una vez un pavo/pollo lo engañó...

El día que por fin entendió el jaque mate pastor*, se lo hizo a sí mismo.

*Scholar's mate, four-move checkmate

Para estar a la altura de su intelecto hay que treparse a un bonsái.

Si estás esperando que sea una lumbrera, llevá linterna.

[En la escuela; tanto por motivos intelectuales como por otros motivos] Atila [El rey de los (h)unos]

Es una luz ... mala [luz mala = will-o'-the-wisp (ignis fatuus)]

[Perikles]

Originally Posted by AngelicaDeAlquezar

No le sube el agua al tinaco. ...

Originally Posted by aleCcowaN

Para estar a la altura de su intelecto hay que treparse a un bonsái.

[Awaken]

Some other English ones just for the pure fun:

He is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
He is not the sharpest tool in the shed.
He is dumb as dirt.
He is dumb as a bag of bricks.
He is dumb as a doorknob.

[chileno]

Caído del catre.

[Sancho Panther]

A couple more English ones:-

The light is on, but there's no-one in.
A couple of bricks short of a load.
The lift doesn't go upto the top floor.
Thick as two short planks.

I also know a Spanish one, but as it's muy, muy feo I'm not placing it on this topic as I fear I may be banned!

I did tell it to my Spanish-born wife who laughed a carcajadas, then told me told me what she'd do to me if were ever to repeat it; it is that rude!

[aleCcowaN]

También me había olvidado de "caído del catre" o "caído del árbol, de la higuera, del techo, del naranjo, etc.".

Es nuestro (Forrest Gump) residente. [() = replace accordingly to your locale]
Es un idiot savant pero sin lo savant.
(Corky) lo asesora.

O el de Mafalda:

Susanita: -Comencemos el cuento echando a volar nuestra imaginación ... (lo mira a Manolito) ... claro, los que tengamos plafond"

[Ronnmacc80]

"He/she was born yesterday" works very well, referring to extreme lack of common sense.

By the way, I came across a spanish reply to how to address somebody who sizes you up as "Born yesterday": "De que me viste la cara"

Is this typical usage in Latin America?

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

"¿De qué me viste la cara?" / "¿Me quieres ver la cara?" can be used when you perceive someone is trying to fool you.

"No nací ayer" means one is not so naive as to let oneself be fooled.

[irmamar]

Here is very common: "No llega" or "No da más de sí".

In Catalan: "No hi és tot" (no está todo, no está entero).

[poli]

dim
dim witted
thick
thick as a brick
sharp as a button
obtuse

[Sancho Panther]

British proverb "Not so green, as he's cabbage-headed!".

No, I'm not 100% sure what it means, either!

Perhaps another, more sagacious brit would be so kind as to explain it to me; my parents employed often fifty-odd years ago!

I'm still waiting for the green light for my very funny (but extemely rude) Spanish one!

Ain't no way I'm posting it without a guarantee of immunity, no sirree!

[aleCcowaN]

You may send it to us by private message . We promise not to tell.

[Perikles]

Originally Posted by Sancho Panther

I'm still waiting for the green light for my very funny (but extemely rude) Spanish one!

Ain't no way I'm posting it without a guarantee of immunity, no sirree!

But that was the whole point of my starting the thread!!

You could post it and use the 'hide' function, where a reader has to click on it before it is visible. That it allowed (I think )

Like this

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[Sancho Panther]

¿Cómo?

Oops - crossed post.