Hilo de Chistes / Joke Thread

[CrOtALiTo]

It sounds like you are required to work overtime. Although it may feel like not being able to leave the job is punishment, but the word "grounded" or punished is not appropriate to use in this context because you have not done anything wrong for which your boss may be punishing/grounding you. You can say: I feel like I'm being punished/grounded today because I can't leave my job.:twocents:

Exactly in the definition of the word, I'm working overtime and I'm feeling this like a punishment, because I can't see to my family during all the day all the days.


That is a jail for me and it seems a punishment.

[vita32]

Exactly in the definition of the word, I'm working overtime and I'm feeling this like a punishment, because I can't see to my family during all the day all the days.


That is a jail for me and it seems a punishment.

:(I will feel the same way too under this circumstance:tired:

[CrOtALiTo]

Thank you for the compression.

[vita32]

Thank you for the compression.

I think you mean compassion (sympathy).

Compression means reduction in size or space. Comes from the word compress, which means to press together thereby reducing the size of the object and the space it occupies. There are several uses for this word.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/compress

[irmamar]

I think he wanted to say "understanding". In Spanish: "Gracias por vuestra/su comprensión".

Good joke, by the way. :lol: :lol:

[vita32]

:DI think he wanted to say "understanding". In Spanish: "Gracias por vuestra/su comprensión".

Good joke, by the way. :lol: :lol:

Thanks for clarifying. I know you're right because although compassion can be expressed to someone who is going through hard times or having a difficult time in English culture, it may not be the same in Spanish speaking countries. Maybe in Spanish culture, compassion (sympathy) is only expressed to people who are in mourning; sick or whose loved ones are sick or have had bad luck/misfortunes, is this right?

"Comprensión" is very close in spelling and sound to "compression". I learned something, thanks to you and Crotalito:):rose:

By the way, which joke, the one on this thread or the other one?:D:thinking:

[CrOtALiTo]

I think you mean compassion (sympathy).

Compression means reduction in size or space. Comes from the word compress, which means to press together thereby reducing the size of the object and the space it occupies. There are several uses for this word.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/compress

Literally I wanted to say.

Thank you for understand me.:)

Solely I wanted to tell you that, I didn't know that the word compressive meanings other thing very different to my concept.
Thank you for clarify my mistake.

[irmamar]

By the way, which joke, the one on this thread or the other one?:D:thinking:

Crotalito's answer, "Thanks for the compression", made me laugh. He is a computer technician. :D :D

Hello, Crotalito (zip, rar? :D ). :rose: :kiss:

[vita32]

Literally I wanted to say.

Thank you for understand me.:)

Solely I wanted to tell you that, I didn't know that the word compressive meanings other thing very different to my concept.
Thank you for clarify my mistake.

Crotalito's answer, "Thanks for the compression", made me laugh. He is a computer technician. :D :D

Hello, Crotalito (zip, rar? :D ). :rose: :kiss:

:)We learned more by making few innocent errors, besides its priceless to make someone smile or laugh (friendly laughter is good).:):D

[CrOtALiTo]

:)We learned more by making few innocent errors, besides its priceless to make someone smile or laugh (friendly laughter is good).:):D

Yes your answer about my commentary is acceptable.

I consider your learning is empiric form, therefore I can tell you that I learnt English of the same way.

Although my English isn't enough good as I'd like to was it.
I'm not be conformist with my English or my English level nowadays, but I have achieved much alone these last three year.


Sincerely yours.

[pjt33]

Crotalito's answer, "Thanks for the compression", made me laugh. He is a computer technician. :D :D

Hello, Crotalito (zip, rar? :D ). :rose: :kiss:

.tgz. Comprime mejor que el zip y tiene soporte en más plataformas que el rar.

[vita32]

Yes your answer about my commentary is acceptable.

I consider your learning is empiric form, therefore I can tell you that I learnt English of the same way.

Although my English isn't enough good as I'd like to was it.
I'm not be conformist with my English or my English level nowadays, but I have achieved much alone these last three year.


Sincerely yours.

Yes, I guess, I can say that my method of learning Spanish right now is empirical, since I don't even have a textbook as of now. But I'm ready to order some Spanish workbooks that would give me plenty of practice on Spanish grammar.:)

[sosia]

.tgz. Comprime mejor que el zip y tiene soporte en más plataformas que el rar.

Personalmente recomiendo 7Zip. Mejor que zip y rar, permite descomprimir ambos y es gratuito :D :D

[JPablo]

Yo creo que para reírse de estos "chistes" hay que tener una buena "compresión".
Una "compresión" excelente.

Pues sin "compresión" no hay entendimiento... aunque puede que haya estreñimiento...

[vita32]

Yo creo que para reírse de estos "chistes" hay que tener una buena "compresión".
Una "compresión" excelente.

Pues sin "compresión" no hay entendimiento... aunque puede que haya estreñimiento...

Me siento descómprimido cuando me rio porque me relajo:D

[irmamar]

El mejor compresor es...

:shh: ... :thinking: ... :clock: ... x ... :?: ... :crazy: ... x:bad: ... :banghead: ... :hmm: ... :duh: ... y:good: :D

y = ¡vita!! :applause:

Perdona, vita, por hacerte protagonista de mi chiste visual. :D :kiss: :rose:

[Perikles]

Not exactly a joke, but Beethoven anybody?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJkL_4niC4w
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.



'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'



A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'



Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.



The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:



1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;



2 The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;



3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and



4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.







The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:



1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;



3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have got a better model.




The women won. :rolleyes:

[vita32]

El mejor compresor es...

:shh: ... :thinking: ... :clock: ... x ... :?: ... :crazy: ... x:bad: ... :banghead: ... :hmm: ... :duh: ... y:good: :D

y = ¡vita!! :applause:

Perdona, vita, por hacerte protagonista de mi chiste visual. :D :kiss: :rose:

Yo invento un nuevo significado para la palabra, "compresión":D:
Compresión = tension
Decompresión = relaxation :thinking::D:D

[CrOtALiTo]

Yes, I guess, I can say that my method of learning Spanish right now is empirical, since I don't even have a textbook as of now. But I'm ready to order some Spanish workbooks that would give me plenty of practice on Spanish grammar.:)

Yes, lamentably my situation with my time and my job don't leave me go to a school for the afternoons, this is dues that I can't get out of my labors in the company, therefore, I take this website and between other methods before described in my last post as great help for me.

I try to learn for my own. I don't try to be perfect in anyway, although I try to speak clear and understanding for the people at least in English when I speak with someone foreign for telephone.

I know that I'm not perfect and I never will be perfect in this language, because it's my second language and not my native language, although I'd like to take as first language the English, anyway I can't do it, thereby I do a lot mistakes, already I don't like the grammatical in any language nor Spanish and English less.

Sincerely yours.

[pinosilano]

The Importance of Walking

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.